Sick Kid

I hate feeling helpless. I'm not good at feeling helpless. Yes, I admit I'm a control freak and feeling helpless does not work for control freaks at all.

Alanna is sick today. She's got this squeaky lil voice from a sore throat and runny nose and fever. I have her believing now that her medicine is a "treat" and the Sudafed orange flavored chewable and Tylenol Meltaways help with that as they look like little candies. The bad side of my "treat" theory is that I have to be ultra careful (we already are) to make sure that she can't get her hands on the medicine as she now thinks it's a candy. I hate the feeling that I can't do much to make her feel better.

She has an MRI scheduled next week to take a look at the facial cyst and determine the best course of treatment. That makes me feel helpless too. They will have to sedate her so that she lies still in the machine. I've got this mommy guilt going on wondering if I'm doing the right thing by putting her through this. But I can't get over the fact that if we don't and something happens like infection or swelling that could compromise facial nerves that we'd regret it for the rest of her life.

Fuck helpless feelings.