Preoccupied Mind

Tomorrow is Alanna's appt at Children's for her MRI . Alanna was born with a cyst on her right cheek near her ear and just back and below her eye. This was discovered when I was 6 months pregnant on her ultrasound. Short version, 8 ultrasounds and an MRI later they determined that she would not have brain damage, be blind or deaf on that side, but that they didn't know what it was or what damage it could do in the future. When she was born, we were told that so long as it didn't change in size or shape and wasn't causing her discomfort to wait until she was about 2 to have it re-evaluated. That's where we're at now.

The cranio-facial pediatric surgeon that we're seeing is unsure as to what it is and is leaning towards calling it a lymphatic malformation but wants the MRI to determine more.

She's a beautiful little girl, the cyst is really not overly noticeable and I feel a bit like a selfish, superficial person for wanting it taken care of. I keep asking myself if this is really necessary, after all it's just a bump. But I keep coming back to the fact that they really don't know for sure what it is and it's very close to her eye and ear so what if it enlarges and puts pressure on those nerves or what if it ruptures? And from a purely cosmetic point of view is she going to want a bump on her cheek for the rest of her life? Would a tiny scar that could be covered with a dab of concealer or that would maybe fade in the years to come be preferable to her?

We are so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter who is happy and healthy. Am I doing the right thing? I guess every parent has to battle that question.

All I know is the what ifs of not knowing for sure what it is and what damage it could do are far worse than the MRI and sedation we'll have to go through tomorrow. If something were to happen and we hadn't taken the opportunity to investigate it further, I'd be shattered.